This is a special article for the Valentine’s Day. The text is so cliché that – I simply had to post it 😀
Solo travel, traveling with friends and all these things…
So many times I heard people saying that they couldn’t convince their friends to travel with them… somewhere. So many times young married women in their 30s told me something like… I wish my husband took me to Venice… or Paris… you name it. Some people told me they weren’t feeling like going to museums alone, but no one wanted to go with them, because, oh yeah, people don’t like museums (laugh).
Travel culture is cultivated individually. I got it as early as at my parents’ home, but some people learn how to travel by themselves becoming self-made travelers. A friend of mine traveled the whole southeast Europe as a student, in his early 20s. He chose these destinations because it was an affordable option in comparison with central or western European countries, and he just found (new) friends to travel with. Later he got married and took his wife to Italy for their honeymoon. Fair enough?
Sometimes a trip to a nearby town is enough to get that feeling. Some bloggers started exploring by exploring – abandoned buildings. I also have some kind of passion for abandoned buildings 😀
So, travel is a kind of attitude. I have been known as an extreme traveler since I was 15, but I experience my first trip outside Europe only at age 27. By meeting many young travelers I noticed that many of them worked hard to earn money for their travels. So what? “Start by starting”, that’s what I said many times, supposedly quoting Meryl Streep (if she really said that).
A space for romance
So, I’m a girl who travels, and my main focus while traveling is to discover (#myfundiscoveries) and to visit some cool museums of any kind (#funmuseums). When I’m not traveling I work on my day job and I have all my time fulfilled with diverse creative and relaxing activities, including blogging. Where the hell could I include a romantic relationship in that scheme? 😀 Of course, I could, with all pleasure, but not with anyone (now I said a truly cliché sentence, I know).
Of course, I could, with all pleasure, but not with anyone (now I said a truly cliché sentence, I know).
I have heard stories about other girls who travel being constantly asked about getting a boyfriend, marriage, children, how do they think to manage it, biological clock, cat ladies bla bla bla. I don’t understand why people care about it, they should better care about their own lives, and I don’t care if they say they just “want to put a nice conversation”. Whatever, that’s not a topic now.
Anyway, people who travel and/or have traveling attitude might have certain difficulties finding a romance. This article is somehow intended to provide emotional support for young people (women like me but also men in similar situations) who like to travel. I want all of them to avoid any desperation about romance, love, coupling up and so on.
Boring people and other obstacles
I made a set of funny conclusions about love&romance from a traveler’s point of view.
1) Travelers strongly dislike boring people.
What does it mean “boring”? I admit, this just a subjective category, no one is completely boring, everyone is interesting to someone. But, many people end up marrying a person who is boring to them. Why? Because, hm, they see other advantages; it might be appearance but also socio-economic status. Travelers cannot stand such compromises, so if they can’t talk about anything they are passionate about with someone sitting on the opposite side of the table, they will not give a second chance to that person. My example: when I come to a first date with a boring guy, I just can’t wait for it to finish. Sometimes it’s tragic for him because he thinks I’m a perfectly super interesting person and I could change his life.
2) Change his life?
Travelers learn from their experience, so they know to recognize if someone’s words are just empty thoughts intended to capture someone’s attention. As I said, some guys are boring to me not only because they don’t share my enthusiasm but also because I notice the same paradigm that I experienced in my painful past situations. There might be a handsome guy, with a good degree and a good job, saying something like “currently I just live my life on the way home-to-job, I see my friends in bars, watch Netflix (oh yeah, no TV, no illegal downloads for conscious millennials, just Netflix) and sleep until late on weekends, I want to start learning this or that but I have delayed a decision, BUT…
…from now on, I want to start living the same life you do!
Does it ever happen? Trust me, it never happens. They give up fast. After a few months, they lose their enthusiasm and want to return to their regular life. One of my ex-boyfriends wanted to change me, to make me a “conventional” girl who will not travel and discover. He lost me, obviously 😀 There were guys who left me, right after I started believing in that relationship. In conclusion: no one will change his habits because of a romantic relationship. Travelers need to look for other travelers and people with traveling attitudes. It does not mean that all people who don’t travel are boring – they are just wrong mates for us in most cases.
3) Women and stereotypes
My ex-boyfriend strongly believed that I would even give up on my career. He was educated traditionally so he had such an attitude as a default option. Croatian society is a bit conservative, it’s not a secret. It’s just normal that girls are better at school, finish more masters degrees, practice more volunteering and similar activities, think more of healthy habits – but still – they are “worth” more if they are married as early as at age 30 or before. In such a society most men cannot even support their significant others to go for business-career travels without them.
4) It’s not only about traveling.
The same happens when it comes to visiting museums in their own cities. Many people in Croatia (and not only!) are still lazy to go to museums although they would love to. At first, most men I met with became enthusiastic that they would start going to museums, but after a short period of time, they started talking to me about museums as “that your things”, becoming upset because I want to go to a museum.
My things – Your things
Now, here is the final question:
Do you really need to get a boyfriend or girlfriend who follows the same way and the same path?
I don’t think so, to be fully honest. I actually love when a guy has his own “things” – I could imagine such a relationship – we go for a weekend trip, and while I’m in a museum, he goes to watch a movie or attend a concert I’m not much interested in. We meet after it’s over. I would not call anything “these your (stupid, weird, unclear, you name it) things”, but I would just be happy because he is happy.
This is nothing like “your things” – this is something that makes you happy.
It’s unbelievable how many people (men and women) I met so far were not able to understand these values.
I’m single on this Valentine’s Day. I prefer to be single rather than feeling nervous, sad or worried about a wrong person – a wrong person that could be a perfect match for somebody else.
I became inspired to write this article after reading a few articles previously written by other people. One of these articles is about attempts to settle and everything that comes with that, while one of the most interesting articles about love&romance I recently read was about how most women marry other people’s husbands.